Getting the shift.

 

The first time I saw a blooming field of rapeseed in contrast with a clear blue sky on a sweltering Summer's day, I gasped for breath.

I wasn't running or power walking. The gasp of breath was me needing a moment to deal with the beauty of the vision laid out in front of me.

I was walking the rolling hills and dales of the countryside in Vlaams Brabant, the area of Belgium I grew up in.

The bright yellow of the rapeseed and the clear blue of the sky were perfectly interrupted in the middle by some leafy green trees on the horizon. It was as if Monet or Van Gogh had set the scene and I was witnessing their finished canvas.

I just stood there and cried. The beauty was too much for me to deal with. That was the day I fell truly in love with nature.

Shauna is a black and white Collie who loves to fetch a ball and then get chased. She is still under 3 and possesses boundless energy. 1.5 hours is the minimum walk required at lunchtime. 

We often go to a nearby park in South Dublin that used to be an estate. The grounds are big enough and hold lakes, sports pitches, a dog park, a playground, rivers, forests, and more. 

There are rabbits, ducks, and squirrels to entertain her.

Then, one day, she figured out all for herself that if she threw the ball in the moving river it would float away and she could chase it down. She did this for at least 20 minutes. Then she grabbed the ball, climbed up the embankment, and dropped it in front of me while staring me straight in the eyes.

I just stood there and cried. The innocence was too much for me to deal with. That was the day I fell truly in love with love.

Getting the shift. That's what happened to me on both of those occasions.

It is happening right now, again. I had just become aware of another layer that had wrapped itself tightly around me a long time ago. One that wasn't serving me and making me do things that are not truly me.

The layer that is falling off me is the idea that there needs to be a purpose in life. This layer of required purpose comes with expectations, needs, and desires. It is driven by Ego, steered by the Self, clicked into gear by beliefs such as Right, Wrong, Success, Failure, Good, and Bad.

I just stood there and cried. The world as I was perceiving it was too much for me to deal with. That was the moment I fell truly in love with the purposeless nature of life.

It is merely life itself that is the purpose. Dealing with what is in front of me. And to trust that I will do so to the best of my ability in each moment. 

Life is becoming so simple now.

To just see the colourful bounty of the rapeseed field in summer for what it is. To see the innocence and cleverness of Shauna in all her glory right there and then. To see the world through the lens of presence.

Resistance free, no push-backs. Everything is what it is. And I will live with it. Right then. Right there.

27/04/22

Patrick Mercie